


The Heart Has Its Own Reasons

by meesha1971



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, F/M, Hogwarts Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-07
Updated: 2006-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-27 15:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10811562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meesha1971/pseuds/meesha1971
Summary: Written for theRon/Hermione Quote!Fic ChallengeatCheckmated."The heart has reasons that reason does not understand."-- Jacques Benigne BossuelHermione does not want to be in love with Ron. Can she reason with her heart?





	The Heart Has Its Own Reasons

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).
> 
> Note from meesha1971: Thank you for saving my story and archiving it here.

  
Author's notes:

This story has already been through the beta process on [**Checkmated**](http://www.checkmated.com/).  It was written for the [**Ron/Hermione Quote!Fic Challenge**](http://www.checkmated.com/submissions.php).  Thanks to my beta, **kfrances** for all her help and wonderful suggestions.  Please read and review.  Thanks!

****Disclaimer:  The characters and situations of Harry Potter depicted in this story are the legal property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic and AOL Time Warner, and have been used without permission.** **  
  
** **No copyright infringement is intended.  No profit is being made off this story, and it is for entertainment purposes only.** **

* * *

Hermione sat at her parents’ kitchen table hurriedly scribbling a list, determined that each new item would come closer to convincing her.  In just an hour, she would be meeting Ron and Harry, who would escort her to the Dursley’s, where they were staying until Bill and Fleur’s wedding.  Both boys understood that although Ron had gone ahead, Hermione needed a few days in the Muggle world with her parents.  Hermione felt guilty about lying to them, but they just would not understand the precarious situation the Wizarding world was in, and why she wanted – no, needed – to be involved.  The state of things was also why the boys had, for once, agreed to a scheduled meeting time.  If she were a minute late, they would worry.  With Dumbledore gone, all they had was each other.

She felt tears threaten as she thought of Dumbledore and blinked them away furiously.  She still couldn’t believe that Snape had killed him.  She had believed that Snape was on their side.  She had believed that Dumbledore couldn’t make a mistake.  She had been so wrong.  Ron had been right.  He had never trusted Snape.  But he hadn’t said anything.  He had just held her and comforted her at the funeral.  If she closed her eyes, she could still feel him stroking her hair.  She could feel his arms around her making her feel ….  Her eyes snapped open.  This was ridiculous.  She was not doing this again.

She was absolutely, positively, and most assuredly **not** in love with Ron Weasley.

They were too different.  She believed in hard work and studying.  He wanted put everything off until the last minute and copy.  _Okay, he doesn’t always copy but he does put everything off until the last minute._   She liked to relax with a good book.  He preferred to play chess or jump on a broomstick and fly around or play Quidditch.  _You like to play chess and you enjoy watching him fly._   That was true … but it wasn’t the point.  _We’re just too different._

It could never work.

The situation with Lavender last year had opened her eyes.  It had almost destroyed their friendship.  She had been hurt and angry and … a _nd the birds._   She groaned and covered her face with her hands.  She didn’t want to remember the birds.  She was not proud of that moment.  She and Ron didn’t speak to each other for months.  Then Ron had gotten poisoned and everything had changed.  He could have died.  She could have lost him forever.  She had decided then that their friendship was more important.  They had been friends for six years.  It would be foolish to throw all of that away just because he had gotten a girlfriend.  She had waited with the others for him to wake up, praying that he would wake up – that she would have a chance to make things right between them again.  It didn’t matter that he had chosen Lavender Brown over her.  She had already decided that they just weren’t suited for romance.  She had just wanted him to wake up so they could be friends again.  

She was not in love with him.  

_He called out your name._  


He was asleep and mumbling.  That could have been anything.  

_You know that’s not true._  


It didn’t mean anything.  He didn’t break up with Lavender.  

_He said he loved you._  


He was tired and grateful because I helped him correct his essay.  He didn’t mean it like that.  He had a girlfriend!  

_He doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore._  


No.  She had to stop this.  Ron had made it clear what kind of girl he was looking for.  He wanted someone who was pretty and … it didn’t matter.  He didn’t want her.

She simply could not be in love with Ron Weasley.  They were too different.  They didn’t have very much in common.  It just didn’t make any sense for her to love him.  She continued listing all the reasons that she could not be in love with him.  He was insensitive.  She had to get herself under control.  Her friendship with Ron was too important to let something this silly interfere with it. He had poor table manners.  _Table manners?_ Is that really important?  She put it on the list, unwavering in her resolution.  She was not in love with him.  She was not going to think about how his eyes lit up when he smiled or how they darkened when he was angry or the way the sunlight glinted off his hair … No.  She wasn’t going to think of any of that.  Ron was her friend.  They were just friends.

That was how her mother found her, bent over the parchment with a surprisingly short list of all of Ron’s faults.  Somehow, her mother always knew when she was upset.  She always gave her some time to brood but, eventually, she would come and talk to her.  This time, Hermione was grateful.  Her mother was the most practical person she knew, besides herself.  If anyone would know what to do, it would be mum.

“Hermione?  I made some tea.  I thought you might want to talk before you leave.”

“Thanks mum,” said Hermione accepting a cup of tea.

“So, is there anything you would like to talk about in particular?”  

“How do you always know?” said Hermione.

“I’m your mother,” she said smiling.  She looked at the list Hermione had carefully compiled.  “I assume this has something to do with your friend, Ron?”

Hermione took a deep breath and started talking.  She told her mother everything.  Well, almost everything.  She left out the fact that Ron had been poisoned, choosing instead to say that he had gotten sick.  It felt good.  She hadn’t had anyone to talk about all of this with.  It wouldn’t be fair to put Harry in the middle and Ginny … well, Ginny was a good friend but Hermione wasn’t comfortable talking to her about Ron like this.  She had thought about talking to her mother before but hadn’t been sure of how to approach it.  How did you ask your mother for advice about boys?  It was much easier than she had anticipated.  Her mother just listened, sipping her tea and nodding in the appropriate places.  Finally, she pushed the list towards her mother. 

“So, you see, I just can’t be in love with him,” she declared matter-of-factly.  “It just wouldn’t work.”

“You’ve given this a lot of thought,” said her mother reading through the list.

“Yes,” said Hermione.  “I’ve been thinking about this ever since Ron got sick.  It would be foolish to throw away six years of friendship over something like this.  It could never work.  We’re just too different.  We could end up hating each other.”

“Well,” said her mother slowly.  “You have certainly made a logical start.  Have you completed a list of his good qualities?”

“His – what?” said Hermione, confused.  Couldn’t she see how incompatible they were?

“His good qualities,” said her mother briskly.  “If you truly want to approach this logically, then you must also make a list of his good qualities and then you can compare the two and make a logical decision.  He has been your friend for six years.  Surely there are things that you like about him?”

“Of course,” said Hermione bemusedly.  “I guess I should have thought of that.”

She grabbed another piece of parchment and began comprising a list of all of the things she liked about Ron.  It was much easier than listing his faults and the list was growing quickly.  He made her laugh.  He tried to take care of her and keep her from working too hard.  He was courageous and loyal.  He always stood up for her and defended her – he had even belched up slugs trying to defend her.  He complimented her and showed pride in her intelligence ….  This wasn’t right.  Making these lists was supposed to help her to **not** be in love with Ron.  This wasn’t helping at all.  She stopped writing and looked at the two lists.  The list of good qualities was much longer.  She put her head down on her arms.

“This isn’t helping,” she said miserably.

“Maybe you should re-evaluate your position,” said her mother gently.

“I don’t understand,” said Hermione into her arms.  She looked up at her mother miserably.  “It just doesn’t make any sense!  We have so little in common.  We argue … well, not so much anymore but we do.  He’s just so infuriating sometimes!  I can’t be in love with him!  It isn’t logical.  It isn’t even reasonable!”

“The heart has reasons that reason does not understand,” said her mother with a knowing smile.

“What does that mean?” said Hermione.

“I think you know what it means,” said her mother, clearing the cups from the table.  “Hermione, you have always been a very sensible girl.  Love is just something that doesn’t make sense.  You can’t make it fit a logical pattern.”

“I don’t think he feels the same way,” Hermione admitted in a small voice.

Her mother smiled, lifting Hermione’s chin up.  “From what you’ve told me, it sounds like he does.”

“How can I be sure?” said Hermione.  “If I’m wrong … I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

“You can never be completely sure until you take that first step,” said her mother gently.  “You have to be willing to take a risk.  It sounds as though your friendship is important to you both.  I don’t think either of you will let anything ruin it.  I think you’ll find that some things are worth the risk.”

“Thanks mum,” said Hermione, hugging her mother tightly.  A glance at the clock told her she only had a few minutes before she had to leave.  She quickly packed the book she had been looking through into her trunk and said goodbye to her parents.  A wave of her wand sent her trunk and Crookshanks to Harry’s room.  It was time to go.

She stepped out into the back garden, closed her eyes, concentrated hard on her destination, and stepped forward into that feeling of compression.  When she opened her eyes she saw a play park but where were Ron and Harry?  Had she missed her destination?  She looked around and saw the sign for Magnolia road.  She was in the right place.  _Maybe I’m early._   She was looking for a place to sit when she was grabbed from behind and spun around.  She screamed and reached for her wand.

“Hermione!” said Ron grinning as he set her down.  “It’s just us.” 

As she got her bearings, she saw Harry standing off to the side trying very hard not to laugh.  She spun around to face Ron.

“Ronald Weasley!” she shouted.  “You scared me to death!  What were you thinking?”

“Sorry,” he said, still grinning and not sounding sorry at all.  “I’m – we’re just excited to see you.”

“You just saw me a week ago,” said Hermione keeping her tone firm but her insides were quivering.  _Could mum be right?_

Ron ignored her and started looking around.  “Where’s your stuff?” he said, looking a little crestfallen.

“I sent it to Harry’s room just before I left,” said Hermione anxiously, looking up.  “It didn’t arrive?  I hope I didn’t send it to the wrong place.”

“Relax,” said Harry grinning.  “It’s probably there.  We’ve been here for half an hour.  Ron was getting restless waiting at the house.”

For some reason, that had her insides quivering again.  She glanced at Ron but he was looking away from her, his ears slightly pink.  She smiled as they walked towards Privet Dr, listening to Ron and Harry fill her in on what they had been up to all week.  The casual enjoyment was only marred by the fact that each of them had their wands within easy reach, prepared to defend themselves if they were attacked. 

**********

“I’m sorry,” said Harry as they entered his bedroom.  “The Dursleys aren’t happy about you and Ron staying here.  They refused to let you use the guest bedroom so we’re all going to have to sleep in here.  They’re probably hoping that will make you decide not to stay.”

“Well, I guess they’ll just have to be disappointed then, won’t they?” said Hermione briskly.  She looked around the room.  “It’s big enough,” she said walking around.  “If we move things around a bit, we should be fine.  Where have you been sleeping?” she said, looking at Ron.

“On the floor,” said Ron self-consciously.  “I conjured up a pretty comfortable sleeping bag.”

“Well, we can do much better than that,” Hermione said confidently.  

She pulled out her wand, prepared to move the furniture around to make room for beds but stopped and looked at Harry anxiously.

“Won’t you get into trouble if we use magic?” she asked.

“No,” said Harry grinning.  “Mr. Weasley notified the ministry that Ron was going to be staying with me so they know that there is an adult wizard in the house.”

Hermione nodded and they began rearranging the room.  Before long, they had two serviceable camp beds and space to work on their research.  Harry and Ron grumbled a bit when she insisted they get to work right away but agreed that they couldn’t afford to waste any time.  They couldn’t seriously begin searching until after Harry’s birthday but they could find out more about Horcruxes, explore possible locations, and plan.  That would make the search go faster when they could actually begin.  Hermione hadn’t said anything to Harry but she still carried a small hope that they would be able to go back to Hogwarts in September.

As the light faded from the sky, Ron’s stomach rumbled, reminding them that they hadn’t eaten.  Hermione hadn’t stopped to consider what they would be doing for meals.  Would they be joining the Dursleys?  She wasn’t sure if she could sit at the same table with such unpleasant people and actually have an appetite.  Harry grinned when she asked him about it.

“No, we haven’t been eating with the Dursleys,” he said sharing a smirk with Ron.

“We’ve had a bit of fun with that,” Ron admitted.

Hermione frowned but followed them downstairs.  The Dursleys were sitting at the dinner table and were obviously annoyed at the interruption.  Neither Harry nor Ron said anything to them.  They just went into the kitchen and gathered food.  Hermione watched them, wondering what they were up to.  Ron grinned at her and pulled out his wand.

_“Wingardium Leviosa!”_ he said, winking at her as the food floated out through the house.  She followed the boys out of the kitchen.  Mr. Dursley’s face had turned purple at the sight of the food floating through the house but he didn’t say anything.  Harry’s cousin looked frightened and, for some reason, he kept grabbing his backside.  Hermione wondered if there was something wrong with him.  She followed the boys back upstairs where they began setting the food out.

“I can’t believe you did that,” she said.  “What if they ask us to leave?”

“They won’t,” said Harry grinning.  “They aren’t going to say anything because they know that you two are allowed to do magic.”

Hermione shook her head.  There was no point in arguing with them.  As long as they weren’t actually doing anything to the Dursleys … no, they wouldn’t do that.  They sat down to eat and began discussing what they had learned or, rather, what they hadn’t learned. 

“We still don’t know who R.A.B. is,” said Harry with a frown.  “We need to figure that out.  I have to find out if the locket Horcrux was actually destroyed.  I can’t just assume that it was.”

“I’ve brought several books on pure blood families with last names starting with ‘B’,” said Hermione.  “There aren’t as many pure blood families so we should be able to eliminate them fairly quickly.  I also brought several old editions of The Daily Prophet so we can cross-reference the names of people accused of being Death Eaters.” 

Harry nodded and the conversation turned to the Horcruxes themselves.  They still didn’t know much about them or exactly how to destroy them.  Hermione had looked through the entire Restricted Section of the library at Hogwarts and had only found that one obscure reference.  She was disappointed but believed she had come up with a solution.  

“We need to find out more about Horcruxes,” she said as they were cleaning up after their meal.  “We need to have a better understanding of them before we try to destroy one.”

“We’ve tried,” said Harry.  “If _you_ couldn’t find a book about them –”

“There might be another way,” Hermione interrupted.

“How?” said Harry.  “Where else could we look?”

“I don’t know,” said Hermione.  “I was thinking we could ask someone.”

“Who?” said Ron.  “We can’t tell anyone what we’re doing.  Dumbledore told Harry –”

“I know that, Ron.  We don’t have to tell them what we’re doing.  We just need some information so we know how to destroy them.”

“I don’t think there is anyone we could ask,” said Harry quietly.  “I doubt Slughorn knows any more than what I found out from his memory and, even if he did, I don’t think he would be willing to talk about it.”

“I could write to Viktor,” said Hermione quickly.  “He went to Durmstrang and actually learned about the Dark Arts.  He might know –”

“You can’t put something like that in a letter!” said Ron forcefully.  “What if it was intercepted?  You might as well put an announcement in The Daily Prophet.”

“I wasn’t going to ask about them in the letter,” said Hermione exasperatedly.  “I was going to invite Viktor to Bill’s wedding and ask him in person.”

Ron fell silent.  Hermione gave Harry a pleading look.  She didn’t know any other way they could find out.  She had expected Ron to have objections.  He had always been unreasonable when it came to Viktor.  But she had hoped Harry would see how sensible this was.  They _needed_ to know and there was no other way for them to find out.  Harry was staring out the window, looking thoughtful. 

“That’s not a bad idea,” he said finally.  He looked at Ron but Ron had turned his back to them.  “Just make sure that you don’t put anything in the letter about what we’re doing.” he said giving Hermione a look that she didn’t quite understand but she thought he was trying to tell her something.  “I think I’ll take a shower before bed.”  

He gave Hermione another look as he left the room.  Hermione was confused.  Why was Harry behaving so strangely?  She looked over at Ron but he still had his back to her.  She opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong with Harry but he spoke.

“So, you’re going to ask Krum to the wedding,” he said quietly.

“Yes,” she said warily.  A strange sense of foreboding filled her.  She felt as though she had missed something important but she couldn’t figure out what it was.  She thought she had come up with the perfect solution.  She and Krum were friends and had been writing to each other for two years now.  No one would suspect anything of her inviting him to the wedding.  What was wrong with them?  Why were they acting so odd?

“Right,” said Ron with a sigh.  “I’m sure you’ll have a good time with him.”  

He still hadn’t looked at her and was now going through his trunk.  Minutes passed, the silence broken only by the soft rustle of Ron pulling clothes out his trunk.  What was wrong with him?  Why was he so upset?  Hermione had had enough.  She walked over and stood in front of him.  He continued to stare into his trunk.

“What are you on about?” she said, frustrated.  She hated feeling like she was out of the loop.  

“Nothing,” said Ron, still refusing to look at her.  

“Don’t tell me it’s nothing,” she said tetchily.  “You and Harry are both …  Is there some reason that I shouldn’t invite Viktor to the wedding?”  

Ron didn’t answer.  He set his pajamas aside and busied himself putting his other clothes back in his trunk.  Hermione resisted the urge to stamp her foot in frustration.  Something was going on here and she was going to find out what it was.

“Ronald Weasley, if you don’t tell me –”

“Just drop it,” he said dejectedly.  “Please.”

She stared at him in shock for a moment then gathered her wits about her.  She was not going to drop this.  She wasn’t going to do that anymore.  It was long past time for them to get this settled.

“I can’t,” she said.  “ _Is_ there some reason that I shouldn’t invite Viktor to the wedding?”

“I –,” Ron paused in his task but continued staring into his trunk.  “It’s just –,” he sighed.  “No, I guess there isn’t.  Not really.”

“Why do you have such a problem with my being friends with Viktor?”  she said quietly.  That was the root of this, wasn’t it?  She couldn’t think of anything else.

“Friends?” Ron snorted, briefly meeting her eyes.  For a moment, she thought she saw pain in his eyes but he looked away too quickly, leaving her only more confused.  How many times did she have to say that she and Viktor were only friends?

“Yes,” she asserted.  “Friends.”  

“Right,” he said dolefully.  He got up and turned his back to her again.  She could hear him muttering to himself but couldn’t make out what he was saying.  

“Ron?” she said, uncertainly.  Was he still jealous of Viktor after all this time?  Her heart leapt at the thought.  She had believed Ron was jealous of Viktor before but she had never been completely sure.  Had he gotten angry at the Yule Ball because he fancied her himself or was he just being overprotective of her because he thought of her like a sister?  She had never been able to determine which it was.  She had hoped it was because he fancied her but he had never done anything about it.  He never said anything.  She had begun to hope again when he had shown jealousy of McLaggen and had taken the risk to invite him to Slughorn’s Christmas party.  But that hadn’t worked out at all and he had started dating Lavender.  She had only been left with the same doubts.  But now …  This was different somehow.  He wasn’t angry.  He wasn’t being overprotective.  He … _He’s acting like he’s hurt._

“Hermione,” he said turning back to face her.  “I –” He ran his hand through his hair.  “It’s just – I was too late again,” he said.

Too late?  Too late for what?  She opened her mouth to ask him what he meant but Harry came back in before she could say anything.  Without looking at her, Ron left the room mumbling that he needed to change for bed.  Hermione stared after him, more confused than she had been before.  She looked at Harry as he turned down his bed.

“Why is he upset?” she said.

Harry didn’t answer.  She wasn’t really surprised.  Harry usually avoided getting involved in these things.  She couldn’t blame him really but she had to know if he knew something that could help her.  

“Harry, please.  If you know anything –”

“He’s never really talked to me about it,” Harry said, sitting on his bed.  

“But you know, don’t you?”  Hermione pleaded.

“Yeah,” he admitted finally.  “I figured you inviting Viktor to the wedding would upset him.”

“Why?” said Hermione bemused.  “We’re just friends.”

Harry sighed and ran his hand through his hair.  Hermione waited for him to answer.  She couldn’t take not knowing anymore.  If there was even the slightest chance that Ron felt the same way about her  … 

“He’s never said anything to me directly,” Harry said finally, “but ever since he found out about you and Viktor last year … well, he was really upset by it.”

“Last year?” said Hermione.  “I haven’t seen Viktor since our fourth year.”

“I know it was a long time ago but it still upset him to find out about it,” Harry said.

“Find out about what?” said Hermione, more confused than ever.  “Wait, go back to the beginning.  When did this happen?”

”When Ron and Ginny had that big argument,” said Harry sighing.

“What argument?”

“Ginny didn’t tell you about it?” said Harry, bemused.

“No, she didn’t,” said Hermione.  This was just getting more confusing.  What did Ginny have to do with this?  “What happened?”

Harry sighed again and began to explain.  Things started to click into place for Hermione.  The argument had happened before the first Quidditch match.  That had been when Ron had gotten so mad at her but she hadn't known why at the time.  At first she thought it was because Quidditch practices were going badly but that didn’t explain why he would be mad at her.

“– and then Ginny said that Ron only found it disgusting because he had never snogged anyone,” Harry said.  “I had snogged Cho and you had snogged Viktor but he –”

“WHAT?” Hermione shrieked.

Harry winced.  “Not so loud!  The Dursleys –”

“I don’t care about the Dursleys,” said Hermione but she tried to keep her voice down.  “Ginny told Ron that I snogged Viktor?”

“Well, yeah,” said Harry.  “I figured Ron would have already known but –”

“Why would you have thought that?”

Harry blinked at her, seemingly confused by her question.  “Er … I thought – I mean –”

“I did not snog Viktor!” she said fervently.  “He kissed me once after the Yule Ball and it lasted all of two seconds!  How could you – How could Ron – well, that’s not really that surprising but why didn’t he ask me?  Why didn’t you tell me?”  Her eyes widened as all the pieces slid into place.  “Is that –”

For the second time that night, the door opened and Hermione was interrupted as Ron came back in.  She was again tempted to stamp her foot in frustration.  Was it too much to ask to be allowed to finish a conversation?  She wasn’t ready to face Ron yet.  She needed time to think about all of this.  She quickly grabbed her pajamas and went to change for bed.

It all made sense now.  Ron getting mad at her and going out with Lavender … he thought she had snogged Viktor.  Why hadn’t he come to her and asked her?   She had told him so many times that she and Viktor were just friends.  Did he think she would lie to him?  That was probably it.  That’s why he had gotten so angry.  He thought she had lied to him about Viktor.  That explained everything.  Well, almost everything.  _I’m going to hex Ginny the first opportunity I get._   No, she would give her a chance to explain first … then she would hex her.  

As she made her way back to Harry’s room, she tried to figure out a way she could fix this.  First things first … Ron obviously thought she was inviting Viktor to the wedding to be her date.  _That’s what he meant when he said he was too late.  He must have been planning to ask me to be his date to the wedding._   The thought had her heart leaping again.  She had to find a way to straighten all of this out.  As she made her way back to Harry’s room, the solution came to her.

She half expected to interrupt them talking but it didn’t appear that she had.  Ron was putting his clothes away and Harry was idly flipping through one of the books she had brought with her.  _I guess I’m the only one who gets to have my conversations interrupted tonight._   She went to the desk and grabbed a clean piece of parchment and her quill.

“What are you doing?” said Ron.  

“I’m writing to Viktor,” she said matter-of-factly.  “I want to make sure he has plenty of notice about the wedding.”  

Harry gave her a questioning look but she ignored him and braced herself for Ron’s reaction.  Surprisingly, he only nodded and challenged Harry to a game of Exploding Snap.  She started writing, glancing at Ron occasionally.  She was a bit disconcerted by his lack of reaction.  She wrote her usual introduction and general info and then invited him to the wedding.  She glanced at Ron again.  It was time.

“Ron?” 

“Yeah?” said Ron, not looking up from the game.  

“Do you think it would be alright if Viktor brought a guest?” Hermione tried to keep her voice light but she was clutching her quill tightly.  _Please let this work._

“A guest?” said Ron bemusedly.

“Yes,” said Hermione looking down at what she had written.  “I thought he might want to bring a date.”

“A date?” Ron repeated.  She almost grinned at the stunned expression on his face.

“Yes, Ron.  A date,” she said briskly.  “Do you think your mum would mind?”

“But, I thought – ” 

“What?” she said innocently.

“Nothing,” he said quickly, his ears turning pink.  “I’m sure it will be fine. Viktor can bring a date if he wants.”  

He smiled broadly, causing her heart to do a little flip.  She hadn’t missed the fact that he had used Viktor’s name.  She smiled back at him and then finished her letter.  _That was easier than I thought it would be._

Ron surprised her further by allowing her to use Pig to send the letter.  His whole attitude had changed.  He smiled at her again and attached the letter to Pig’s leg and sent him off.  As they watched Pig fly away, she took a deep breath and put her hand over Ron’s.

“Thanks,” she said, hoping he would understand that she wasn’t just thanking him for letting her use Pig.

Ron just smiled again and gave her hand a brief squeeze.  They went to their beds and it suddenly dawned on her that she was sharing a room with two boys.  She hadn’t really thought of it before.  They had all slept in the same room before but that was back in third year and they had been surrounded by all of the other students in the Great Hall.  She suddenly felt very self-conscious as she removed her dressing gown to get into bed.  Harry was facing the wall but Ron was looking at her, his ears turning pink again.

“G’night, Hermione,” he said with a small smile.

“Good night, Ron,” she said smiling back at him.  “Good night, Harry.”

“’Night, Hermione,” said Harry sleepily.

She lay awake long after they had fallen asleep, her thoughts turbulent and confused.  She had started the day determined to stop these confusing feelings but as she lay there in the dark looking at Ron bathed in the moonlight, she had to admit that it was impossible.  

She was absolutely, positively, and most assuredly desperately in love with Ron Weasley.

**********

Hermione had always been an early riser.  No matter what time she went to bed, she was generally awake when the sun rose each morning.  Moving quietly through the room, she gathered her clothes and bath things and crept out into the hallway.  She hoped that none of the Dursleys liked to get up early as she got into the shower.  The warm water cascaded over her and she quickly lathered shampoo into her hair.  She wasn’t sure what the morning routine was here and she didn’t want to disrupt anyone’s schedule.

Her thoughts returned to the previous day.  She had finally made sense of her mother’s advice.  Love did not make any sense.  It did not fit any logical patterns.  It was confusing, frustrating, and completely illogical.  It was also passionate, tender, and exciting.  She didn’t think she would ever completely understand it.  But she couldn’t deny it anymore.  She was in love with Ron and, after last night, she was fairly certain he felt something for her as well.  

She had to talk to Ron.  They couldn’t continue to dance around each other like they had been for the past few years.  The next few months were going to be dangerous and they would be spending a lot of time with each other.  She wanted to resolve this before they started searching for the Horcruxes.  She couldn’t go on this way – hoping and wondering.  They were adults now.  It was long past time they started acting like it.  The first thing on her list was to resolve the misunderstanding about Viktor.  She knew that Ron understood that she was not inviting Viktor to the wedding as her date now but he still thought that she had snogged him.  She had to straighten that out.  Then … well, she wasn’t sure what would happen after that.  One step at a time – that’s how she would handle this.

Hermione got out of the shower and began to dry herself off.  She turned around and gasped.  Ron was standing there looking astonished.  She froze, staring at him in shock.  She hadn’t heard him come in.  His eyes roamed over her, his face a brilliant shade of magenta.  Their eyes met, and the look deepened until it seemed to her that time had stopped.  She felt herself being drawn into fathoms of blue, unable to breathe or speak.  As she gaped at him, she realized she hadn’t covered herself.  Quickly, she wrapped the towel around herself, feeling the heat rush into her face.

“Sorry,” he squeaked.  “I … er … I didn’t … um … realize you … er … were up.”  His words broke the spell and she pulled her eyes away from his, looking everywhere but his face.  His hair was tousled from sleep and she fought the urge to run her fingers through it to straighten it.  His pajamas were wrinkled and slightly twisted around his narrow hips.  Her eyes moved lower and widened in surprise at his obvious arousal and she looked away blushing.  “Sorry,” he said again, still blushing furiously.  He shut the door and she heard his footsteps quickly retreating down the hall.

She just stood there after he left, as stunned and embarrassed as he had been.  She knew that she should be furious but one look at his face had told her it was an accident.  That wasn’t what had stunned her speechless.  It had been his eyes.  The look in his eyes had been … feral … hungry.  It made her feel … desirable.  She shivered.  She hadn’t realized …  She was torn between delight at her realization and embarrassment at her behavior.  She had been so dazed that she hadn’t even thought to cover up. _What he must think of me!_   _I just stood there gawking at him!_   She took her time getting dressed, trying to calm down.  There could be no doubt now.  Not after the way he had looked at her and not after she had seen for herself the effect she had on him.  She took a few deep breaths and headed back to Harry’s room.  Ron was sitting there with his eyes tightly shut, still blushing furiously.  Harry sat on his bed looking confused.  She went to her trunk and put her pajamas and bath things away.  

“Hermione,” Ron began, “I … um … I”

“It’s okay Ron,” she said trying to stay calm.  “You didn’t do it on purpose.”  

“No!” he said forcefully, turning a deeper shade of red.  “But I shouldn’t have … I should have ….”

“It’s _okay_ ,” she said trying to keep her voice normal.  “It was an accident.”  She was trying to keep her tone light but she couldn’t get the look in his eyes out of her mind.  She had to sit down.  “The bathroom is free now,” she said. 

“What?” said Ron.  “Oh, the bathroom. Right.”  He fled from the room.

Harry stared after Ron for a minute and then raised his eyebrow at her questioningly.  Hermione hoped he wouldn’t ask her what had happened.  She could feel herself blushing.  After a few minutes, he began gathering his own clothes and she breathed a sigh of relief.  She still had to talk to Ron though.

“Harry,” she said nervously.  “I really need to talk to Ron.  Can we have some privacy when he comes back?”

“Sure,” he said.  He paused for a moment, idly tapping his fingers on the desk.  “Is everything all right?”

“Yes,” said Hermione, wanting to reassure him.  “I just think I should clear up this misunderstanding about me and Viktor and I want to talk to him about … ” she paused, not sure how to say it.

“Snogging him instead?” Harry said, smirking. 

“Harry!” She could help but laugh.  “Not exactly but –”

“You have feelings for him,” said Harry.

“Yes,” she admitted.  “I don’t know where all of this will lead but I’m hoping … Are you okay with this?”

“I have to admit I was a bit worried at first,” he said slowly.  “I wondered what would happen to our friendship if you got together and then broke up because of what happened with me and Cho.  And then I worried about what would happen if you became like Bill and Fleur and I was shut out –”

“We would never do that!” said Hermione indignantly.  “You’re our best friend!”

“I know,” said Harry smiling.  “I said ‘at first’, didn’t I?  After everything that happened last year, I’m not worried about those things anymore.”

“Why not?” said Hermione, crestfallen.  “That’s what happened, isn’t it?  We almost lost our friendship and you were put in the middle and –”

“But we didn’t,” Harry interrupted.  “We got through it.  We’re still friends and you and Ron seem … I don’t know … closer.  My relationship with Ginny didn’t really change anything and nobody was shut out – ”

“You’re right,” said Hermione smiling.  “I want to talk to you about that by the way.”

“I knew you would,” Harry sighed.  “No getting out of it, is there?”

“No,” she said sternly.  “But we don’t have time now.  Ron could be back any minute.  What are you going to do while we’re talking?”

“Don’t worry about me,” said Harry.  “I’ve spent plenty of summers here on my own.  I’ll find something to do.  How will I know when you’re done?  I don’t want to interrupt anything, ” he said smirking.

“I don’t know,” she said, blushing furiously.  “Maybe we could put something on the door?”

“Good idea,” he said rummaging around.  He pulled out his scarf.  “I’ll hang this on the door when I leave.  Take it off when you’re done talking.”

“Thanks,” she said.  

When Ron came back, Harry left hanging his scarf on the door and winking at Hermione when Ron wasn’t looking.  She felt herself blushing again and scolded herself inwardly.  Now that he was here, she wasn’t sure where to begin.  She took a deep breath and called on her Gryffindor courage.

“Ron,” she began but he interrupted.

“I’m sorry,” he said nervously.  “I really didn’t mean to –”

“I _know_ that,” she said exasperated.  “I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

Ron sat but he wouldn’t look at her.  His face was now scarlet and he kept twisting his pajamas around.  Hermione wanted to wrap her arms around him but they had to clear the air first.  He was so nervous, if she touched him now, he would probably jump through the ceiling.  She took another deep breath, deciding to just say it and get it over with.

“I never snogged Viktor,” she said slowly.  

“I know,” he said, looking up at her briefly.

“What?” she said, surprised.  “How –”

“I overheard you telling Harry last night,” Ron confessed, staring at the floor.  “You did kiss him though,” he said a little defiantly but there was no anger in his tone.

“He kissed me but it only happened once and it wasn’t a snog.  It wasn’t –”

“Like me and Lavender,” he said morosely.

“No,” she said quietly.  She wasn’t sure what she should say next.  At least she knew why his behavior had changed so suddenly.  She decided they might as well clear it all up.

“I was flattered when Viktor asked me to the Yule Ball and I enjoyed talking to him and learning about his country but it never really went beyond that.”

“I’m sorry,” said Ron, still staring at the floor.  “I know I ruined the ball for you.  I just … I got so angry when I saw you with Krum.  I didn’t mean any of those things I said.  I don’t even know why I said them.”

“I wish we had talked about this then,” she said.

“I probably wouldn’t have listened,” Ron smiled ruefully.  “We would have just ended up fighting again.  I didn’t want to fight with you anymore so I didn’t say anything.  And then Ginny … ”

Hermione sighed.  “I’m sorry.  You shouldn’t have heard that from Ginny.  I should have been the one to tell you that Viktor kissed me.”

“It really wasn’t any of my business,” said Ron.  “I know why you didn’t tell me.  I was being such an arse about the whole thing.”  

“Yes, you were,” said Hermione smiling at him.  “But I still should have told you about it.  I don’t want to argue about Viktor anymore so I’m telling you about it now.”  She took another deep breath to steady her nerves.  “It was … nice,” she said choosing her words carefully. Ron was staring at his hands, looking miserable.  “It was nice,” she repeated, “but I didn’t feel anything.”

“You didn’t … ” Ron looked at her hopefully.

“I didn’t feel anything,” she repeated.  “I just don’t have those kinds of feelings for Viktor.  That’s why I never went to Bulgaria and that’s why we’re just friends.”

Ron couldn’t believe it.  “You never … ” he looked away again and closed his eyes tight.  He took a deep breath and started to speak but Hermione stopped him.

“I’m sorry I got so angry with you for going out with Lavender.”

“Why?” he said dolefully.  “I botched everything.”  He sighed.  “I never should have gone out with her in the first place.”

“Ron,” Hermione said slowly, “if you liked her … ”

“That’s just it,” Ron said still not looking at her.  “I didn’t like her.  Not really.”

“You didn’t?” asked Hermione.  “Then why … ”

“Because,” Ron sighed, “I was feeling pretty low and she flirted with me.”

“Ron –,” said Hermione but he cut her off. 

“It was stupid,” he said.  “I know that.  I just … I just wasn’t feeling very good about myself.  Harry had all these girls after him and you were going on about how fanciable he is and all that Slug Club business – ”

“Ron,” Hermione tried again, “I never meant – ”

“I know,” he cut her off again.  “I just need to say it.  I was starting to feel like I was going to be left behind.  Harry is … well, he’s Harry Potter.  I know he doesn’t like it but sometimes I just feel like I’m tagging along for the ride.  And then there’s you –”

“Me?” Hermione interrupted him, surprised. 

“Yeah,” said Ron smiling sadly.  “You’re brilliant and clever and everyone knows it.  Slughorn handpicked you and Harry and even Ginny but he couldn’t even remember my name.”

“Oh, Ron,” said Hermione, blushing.  She didn’t know what to say.  “You’re important to us.  You’ve done great things too.”

“Yeah,” he sighed.  “I know but sometimes it’s hard to remember.  Harry’s right.  I am mental.”

“No, you’re not,” said Hermione.

Ron snorted.  “Yeah, I am …  sometimes.  I was mental that week before our first Quidditch match.  That whole week was …  I don’t know what was wrong with me.  Everything was just going wrong and I felt like it was all my fault.  I couldn’t do anything right.  That’s why Harry tricked me into thinking I had taken Felix Felicis before the match that day.”

“And then I –,” said Hermione, suddenly comprehending.

“It wasn’t your fault,” said Ron ruefully.  “I didn’t believe that I could play well without the potion, why should you?”

“Ron,” said Hermione quickly.  “I didn’t mean it that way.  Harry’s right.  You’re an excellent Keeper.  You don’t need Felix Felicis.  You just need to have confidence in yourself.”

“You really think so?” he asked looking at her anxiously.  

“Oh Ron,” she sighed.  “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t realize that you thought … I was so angry with Harry because I thought he gave you that potion and I knew that it was illegal but that wasn’t the only reason it made me angry.”

“It wasn’t?” said Ron, perplexed.

“No,” she said.  “I was angry because I thought he gave it to you because he didn’t think you could do it on your own and I knew you could.”

“But you said – ”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” she said.  “I know you can do it on your own.  You don’t need Felix Felicis.  You just have to believe in yourself.  I believe in you.  I guess I should have told you that before.  I didn’t realize that you thought that I …   I guess I haven’t been a very good friend.”

“No,” said Ron.  “I was just being thick just like always.”

“Not always,” said Hermione smiling.  “I don’t understand what that has to do with Lavender though.”

“Well, it wasn’t just that,” he said.  “I guess it was all of it.  I was feeling low and thinking about everything that had happened that week.” He sighed.  “It was stupid of me to let it get to me that way but I realized that Ginny was right.  I’d never snogged anyone.  Harry had and you had but I hadn’t.  Well, I thought you had” he said sighing.  “Then I ran into Lavender and she was flirting with me.  I was flattered.  It seemed like good idea at the time but I shouldn’t have done it.  It wasn’t fair to her because I didn’t like her like that – the way that she liked me.”

“But I thought,” Hermione started timidly.  “I mean, you and Lavender seemed to – ”

“I’m not going to lie,” said Ron.  “The snogging was nice … at first.  But it was …  I didn’t really feel anything for her … and she didn’t want to do anything else.”  He got up and began pacing around the room.  “That’s all we ever did.  We never talked or played chess or anything.”  He sighed and finally looked at her.  “It was boring after a while.”  He grinned sheepishly.  “Not to mention embarrassing.” 

“Won-Won,” Hermione giggled.  “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” said Ron laughing, “I’ll probably never live that down.”  He stopped laughing suddenly and looked at her, mournfully.  “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

She realized that this was as much her fault as Ron’s.  _I never realized how much I hurt him._   She looked down at the floor.  “I’m sorry about the birds.”

“I deserved it,” said Ron looking at his hands.  There were still a few small white scars.  

“No,” said Hermione, “you didn’t deserve that.  I should have just talked to you.”

“I should have talked to you about what Ginny said instead of snogging the first girl who would have me,” Ron shrugged and began tracing patterns on the bedspread.   

“We’ve both been pretty stupid, haven’t we?”

She looked up and caught him staring at her.  He blushed and she smiled at him.  “So, do I get to call you Won-Won now?” she said, grinning.

“Only if I can call you Hermy,” He smirked as she winced remembering Grawp

“No, thank you,” she said primly.  They both laughed.  

Hermione was so relieved.  This had gone much better than she had thought it would.  It felt so good to finally talk about all of this.  There was still one more thing she wanted to know … she had to know.  She chewed her bottom lip, unsure how to approach it.  “Ron … er … this morning – ”

“Honestly, Hermione, I never meant to –”

“No, please don’t apologize again.  I know you didn’t mean to.  I was just wondering … er … just – ”

“What?” he said cautiously.

“Well, it’s just that  … ” This was much harder than she had imagined and she had imagined it would be quite difficult.  “It’s just that you were … um … you know –”

“Yeah,” he said, his face turning scarlet.  He cast a furtive glance in her direction but refused to look directly at her. 

“Right,” she said, relieved that she hadn’t had to say it.  “I was just wondering if … I mean, I know that happens sometimes and it’s normal for a male to respond that way in certain situations but I thought … I mean, I wondered … if it … if maybe  … ” She paused, trying to get her turbulent thoughts in order.  Her face was burning and she knew she was babbling but she couldn’t seem to stop herself.  She took a deep breath and tried again.  “It’s just that … the way you looked at me … I just wondered if … I mean, I know I’m not pretty – not like Lavender –”

“No,” he said softly, looking at her finally.  “Don’t compare yourself to her.”

She nodded and looked away from him.  It was just a normal male reaction to that sort of situation.  She should have known.  Ron moved to sit next to her but she still didn’t look at him.  She didn’t want to see pity in his eyes.

“Hermione,” he said gently.  “How could you not know?  You know everything.”

“Know what?”  she said, feeling the prickle of tears.

“You’re _nothing_ like Lavender,” he said ardently, taking her hand in his.  “You’re so much more … brilliant and clever –”

“I know that –” she began irritably but he put a finger over her mouth to shush her.

“– and beautiful,” he said.  “So much more than I ever imagined.”

“You imagined … you’ve thought of me like –” She couldn’t think.  He had imagined her ….

“It’s always been you,” he muttered quietly, his face turning scarlet again.

She threw her arms around his neck.  He hesitated for just a second and then hugged her back.  It felt so good to have his arms around her.  It just felt … right.  She didn’t want to let go but she had to tell him.  She pulled back and looked up at him.  He met her gaze for a moment and then his eyes moved to her mouth.  All thought fled from her mind.  _Is he going to …_ He leaned in slowly, hesitantly, and pressed his lips to hers.  _Oh my._   She wrapped her arms tighter around his neck and kissed him back, moving her lips against his.  She had been wrong.  She had never been kissed before.  Viktor had given her a chaste peck, much like her parents had given her as a child.  This was her first kiss.

Far too soon, he pulled away, his breathing rapid and uneven.  His eyes met hers and she felt as though she were sinking.  “Ron,” she said breathlessly. 

“Hermione,” he pulled her close to him.  “I’ve wanted to do that for ages.”

She pulled back and looked up at him.  “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I – ” he gathered her close again and rested his chin on top of her head.  “I was afraid,” he admitted.  “I didn’t think you would ever feel the same way.  I couldn’t see why you would.”

“We really have been stupid,” she said, holding him close, breathing in his wonderful smell.  “That’s why I never said anything.”

He pulled away again and looked at her in amazement.  “Really?  You wanted me?”

“Since first year,” she said smiling.  “It started with you and Harry saving me from the troll but it was the chess game that really made me realize it.”

“The chess game?”

“You sacrificed yourself so Harry and I could go on,” she said, laying her head against his shoulder.  “It was the bravest thing I had ever seen.  The rest of Hogwarts may think of you as a king but, to me, you’ll always be a knight.”

“Second year,” he said in a choked voice.  She looked up at him in surprise.  “When you were petrified.  I had never been so scared or worried.  Harry and I carried on but there was a hole – something missing.  Nothing felt right until Dumbledore told me that you were going to be okay.”

“Second year?”

“Yeah,” he said blushing again.  “I just didn’t understand what it meant.  It wasn’t until after the Yule Ball that I figured it out.”

“Tell me, Ron,” she said pleadingly.  “Please.”

He swallowed audibly but kept his eyes on hers.  “I love you, Hermione.  I think I always have.  I was just too much of a git to admit it.” 

“Oh, Ron,” she said, smiling through her tears.  “I love you too.  I _know_ I always have.  I was just too afraid to admit it.”

He beamed at her.  “I guess we’re both daft”, he said grinning as he covered her face in kisses.  Her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks … she tried to keep up, kissing every part of his face she could reach.  He nibbled at the corners of her mouth before finally covering her lips with his.

Her thoughts whirled.  Ron was kissing her.  He nibbled and sucked at her lips.  She followed his lead and sucked his bottom lip into her mouth.  He groaned and grazed his tongue across her bottom lip.  She moaned and his tongue slipped inside, probing and teasing her own.  She made a keening sound and held onto him tighter, pressing her body close to his.  He ravished her mouth, his hands roaming over her back and sides.  He broke the kiss and she whimpered at the loss but then he was trailing kisses along her jaw and down her neck.  He nibbled at her collarbone.  She was lost in the sensation.  She couldn’t think anymore.  Then his lips were on hers again, devastating her senses.  Pleasure shot through her entire body.  She ran her hands over every part of him she could reach.  His shoulders, arms, and back.  She wrapped her fingers in his hair and tried to pull him closer.  It was too much.  She broke the kiss and looked at him, her breathing ragged. 

“That was amazing,” she managed, snuggling close to him.  Somehow they had ended up lying on her bed. 

“Bloody brilliant snog,” he said grinning cheekily as he hugged her close.

“Don’t swear,” she said but she couldn’t help smiling.

“I love you,” he said again, looking at her solemnly.  

“I love you too,” she said.  She didn’t think she would ever get tired of hearing him say it or being able to say it back to him.

“We have to tell Harry,” he said abruptly.  

“He already knows.”

“He does?” said Ron, bemused.

“Why do you think he hasn’t come back yet?”

“Oh, right.  How long till he comes back?” said Ron, with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“Until I take the scarf off of the door,” Hermione said smiling. 

“Right.  I’ll thank him later,” he said, pulling her in for another kiss.


End file.
